My Feelings…..

hey guys i will stop blogging at here…so anything u can refer to my new site… http://fairusbfg.multiply.com so see u there….

today is sunday! should eaten nasi sambal goreng! but haiz…so sad…hav to eat mee rebus….neh nvm….as i were working at maintenance room ….hmmm im still remember the past…yeah still not strong…y must think about it…its over…everything were over…shes forget about me…and me…still remember about her…haiz….but its ok i wont ever call her again…and try to be strong….thats y i hav to stay back another hour to join my friends…sometimes when u working u forget what u thinking about….try to be bz…haiz….i hope i will get rid of this nonsense imagination…..haiz!!!!!!!!

today woke up ard 1300+HRS shiok ah! for a long time i nvr woke up late…yesterday nite went out wif my frends…playing pool and hav some chill at infront orchard towers…haiz tomorow work morning shift….but tomorrow is SUNDAY! tomorrow can eat NASI SAMBAL GORENG yahoo!!!!!!!hmmmnext month is ramadhan….so have to puasa for one month……hmmmm

today hav to enjoy myself at home and hear some musics….chill at home and help my father do his plants…….and helping my mom…..hav to move on and forget my awful past….hmmmmmm

yeah…starting from now onwards…i hav to start a new life…..today just took a statement at J Div…just NFA(No Further Action) dont u all worry i wont contacting her anymore…i dont want my career gone just like that bcoz of a gerl….i dont want that to be happen…yah im regret what i hav done to her….and myself…just think positive…what i know theres a msg behind this life….ada hikmah sebalik nye…i just wanna wish myself and her…a good life…i just wanna make her happy again thats all…this is what she wanted about…just leave her…..haiz…nvm! just chill out…wish her all the best….yah..for me she still my special one….but bcoz of this i hav to move on…really move on…thanks to my friends….esp YASIN….thanks for your advised….and the Investigation Officer TOO! i really open my eyes….no matter what family first…thanks guys….terima kasih ya ALLAH…….terima kasih…. =:)

yeah when eating lunch i received a called from IO yeah she maked a police report about i harrissing her yah tomorrow goin for statement….yah i told HIM DONT WORRY I WANT TO CLEAR ALL THIS THING….ASAP! i really hate her…really really hate her…i helped her so much…really helped her about her life…hey feza try to learn how to live by yourself…try to live independently! jgn harap kan org! REMEMBER U TOLD A LIE TO ME about going out wif ashraf? remember how u told a lied to your parents? if u can told a lie to your parents u can told a lie to a police officers! like me! i hope u tell the truth to the Investigation Officer….but what i know later on your mom will know…remember your parents goin to mekkah? about that topic i will tell your parents soon…its up to them they want to trust me…later on your future husband will know….i really telling this the truth!

my life is so fucked up! hate my life! about my family…about my love one…do this to me….now im so hurt! really hurt! really try my best and now im getting this….hope my future is ok and bright….and i regreted what im doing! haiz…. so tomorrow just see the result….i hope ppl can help me…really hate her so much! what i know she like a nuts forget their shells…

yah today after when back from somewhere u dont know…..i went straight to sleep…haiz…yeah i dreamt about her…saving her from drowning…i dont know y i dreamt about that..yeah its funny…after swim at her do the CPR….very funny….she’s alive lucky…but i know it was a dream…just want to know what happen only…after woke up from that stupid funny dreaming…i tried to called her…very frustrating when ppl call and nvr picks up the phone…its very rude u know…than she msg me "STOP bothering her!" or she will call the police…i msg her back go ahead! i tell your parents what she dont know….and i tried to called her home…her mom’s picked up the phone…talk to me…and keep arguing…yeah its up to her…her daughter is very good..got diploma…got this got that…so? i dont even care! she breaks my heart totally into pieces! and i tell her parent that "CIK U DONT KNOW WHATS GOIN ON ABOUT HER"…bcoz everything she wrote at her blog…I KNOW HER PASSWORDs….IM NOT THE hacker but i know about internet…and multimedia…after i said that she start to scream! shout her names! her mom dont trust me yeah i dont even care to…if she wants to report to the police go ahead! i just say to her parents that "about the HER PARENTS GOING TO MEKKAH THING…." im not threathening her but its the FACT! i helped her alot! her moms said not bcoz of me she get the job at the zoo…its bcoz of her diploma! FOR ME ITS ALL BCOZ OF HER REZEKI…i just giv her opinion…..and she do what i said….and till now she work at the ZOO…I HELPED HER WHAT IS LIFE and how to LIVE….yeah if she read this blog she will…said not bcoz of me lah this one lah that one lah…yeah bcoz u forget….like malay ppl said "MCM KACANG LUPA KAN KULIT!" like nuts forget the shells….yeah…haiz….her moms said last two days she prey my parents so get gd life all that…thanks to her….but remeber your daughter treats herself like a BITCH! behave like one…! act like one! herself say so! not me! many times i say to her dont call yourself a bitch! haiz….what a life! for me if her family wants to report to the police…go ahead…i just accept what it comes….i just telling her the truth….alots of time i support what she doin….haiz…k lah…what it come i just accept it….

today im so sad…out of a sudden….nobody to talk to…haiz…i dont know whats wrong wif me…i laugh wif sarcastic way…yah im laughing but…haiz…i dont know what to say…today im so freaking tired…and sick…keep on sneezing! i hate flu and i got fever too….haiz…yah in my heart i really miss her…really really miss…her….yesterday i got kenduri…while goin to pasir ris..i tried to called her..but she will nvr pick up…really hate it…y must she do this to me?y?yah i read her BLOG…she read surah YASSIN….and wants to wear tudong….but her behavior like a BITCH! yah now i called her like a bitch! bcoz she calling herself a bitch! i really dont like the way she behave! this is not her…im glad that ashraf do that to her…serve her right! i hope she will get something like this again…really i prey hard…bcoz she really play my heart…and throw me like a shit! trying to be nice to her but she do this to her…i really prey hard she will nvr live happily! but sometimes think back im so cruel asking GOD this like this to her…haiz…im really sorry….but she makes my life miserable….haiz…

yah today is my last day to be happy…again…i cant be happy again i dont know…i cant laugh i can smile…keep on sad…i really sad what i hav done to her….i really wants her back…but…i think i hav no choice…just let it go…let her happy wif what she want to be….just prey that she gonna be happy…i keep on listening JGN BERSEDIH LAGI by ANUAR ZAIN….very sad song…i try to open RnB songs…ROCK songs…but i hav no mood…i really regret…i cant be happy anmore…Y? TODAY watch movie alone….THE LONGEST YARD…ppl said very funny…but nuthin to laugh about…inside the theatre ppl laughing like the troat wanna came out…but for me like nuthing…after the movie…jln jln at the town…haiz…nuthing to see too…all the way walking alone at the town…haiz..whats wrong wif me?im sad…truly sad…haiz… YA ALLAH pls make me happy….i prey alot too…today went to friday preyers at al-falah… nobody wanna accompany wif me…so i go alone..nvr go lunch…they call me that it late…i nvr picked up the phone..so i had to went back by TAXI….lucky $7….

from now onwards…im a first aider…i can do first aid to ppl needs help…hehe(so sarcastic laugh) im pass wif flying colours…yesterday i got full marks…20/20 and just now practical test just do one time…im pass….now i know im gd…i can learn…so hav to prepare later…after NS gonna study again…study really hard….really really hard….FIRST AID is so easy…very easy….just remember the way they do…thats all…. FYI i hate MCQ but i dont know how come i can get full marks….amazing man!!!

while went back alone at the TRACOM i imagine….i was walking wif her…still remember when im P.O.P day at TRACOM she came to my P.O.P day really really sweets…..i really took own sweet time walking at there…what a memories….haiz…i really miss her alot…haiz…last time i was happy wif her…really really happy…but now she wif other guy…ashraf was his name….now ashraf like show his colours…like doesnt care about my cute feza…this kind of ppl will nvr appreatiate us…thinks about himself only…thinks about his own world…haiz…but y hav my feza still love him? bcoz he got future? bcoz he’s rich? bcoz he’s handsome than me? bcoz of what? y ? tell me y? belom lagi matair dah buat prangai…apa siak!!! kalau aku kenal dia aku dah bahasa kan dia siak…haiz….relax…. relax….relax FAIRUS…just see what gonna happen wif this two guys…

all this while i kep reading her blog…y must she hav to treat herself a BITCH? she’s not a bitch….haiz…inside her blog…ashraf ask her to change her numbers so i wont disturb her anymore…neh..thats not the way….u r a teacher…y must u thinks that way? theres a ways to stop me to disturb her…yah theres a way…she knows about it….so what for u want her to change the number?haiz… hey ashraf…if u mature enouf pls ok….org dah sayangkan kau napa kau buat mcm gini kat dia?kau bodoh ker apa?eh feza ni org yg baik…dia mintak perhatian daripada kau! bukan aku! apa asal kau buat mcm gini? u got car u got motor y dont u send her or fetch her? think ok….u hav to divide yourself and her…your work and her….i hope ashraf saw my blog……i want him to take care of my dearest sayang….bcoz she’s the only gerl that i love…i dont want my love want to be hurt again…now i hav to stop sms-ing or call her…bcoz of me she traumatised…bcoz of me she hurt…so i dont want my love want to be like that…i want her to be happy….so ashraf if i know u gonna break her heart again…im gonna break your fucking balls! really warn u ok! so take care of my love!feza!

Anuar Zain

Jangan Bersedih Lagi

Kekasihku
Jangan bersedih lagi
Keringkanlah titisan air mata di pipi(mu)
Kekasihku
Tabahkan hatimu
Sekalipun tak pernah terduga
Halangan yang melanda
Melenyapkan
Impian bersama
Jangan dikesali
Atas apa yang terjadi
Mungkin rahmat sebaliknya
Membuahkan bahagia
Kekasihku
Aku tahu
Kita sama saling percaya
Tidak pernah
Ada dusta
Kasih antara kita
Jangan berduka (kekasihku)
Jangan berdendam pada sesiapa
Bersabarlah
Menerima
Segala-galanya dengan redha

( bridge )
Mungkin suatu hari
Kita akan bersama lagi
Aku masih mengharap
Segalanya kan
Berulang semula

( korus )
Kekasihku
Aku tahu
Kita sama saling percaya
Tidak pernah

Ada dusta
Kasih antara kita
Jangan berduka (kekasihku)
Jangan berdendam pada sesiapa
Bersabarlah
Menerima
Segala-galanya dengan redha

haiz….aku tak leh tido….arh!!!!!!i slept just now and dream about her….she cry on my dreams…i dont know what it means…hmmm i think we really regret what we done to each other….haiz…i think lah…but y she cry in the 1st place?after i realise its justa dream…i called her but she nvr picked up….hmmm i dont know…i think she’s sleep already….haiz…i dont know y i am feeling this way?

I got feeling wif this gerl….HEHEHEHE secret…hahahah one day i will tell u…clue is she been wif me for 4yrs….now she change to other character…heheehe really miss her alot…for months we nvr seeing each other…miss her so much…this gerl is petite to….cute…love to shopping…and loud too…hahahaha i know about her so much…her parents too…(HEY FAIRUS U THINK U CAN GET HER?DREAM ON!) HAHAHA what a dreamer….from what i know she needs attention….she need love and care….she lack of something…and someone…hmmmm so guys whoever read this blog try to find out by yourself k…one day i will tell ya….HEHEHE

today i got course at TRACOM for three days….feeling tired and sick…the weather not so good…im so freaking tired sia….when lunch time go to the budget stall…hahaha still remember im wif HER eating together…but today…eating alone…no friends….after lunch when down to my favourite perfume shop…hahah bought one perfume…my fav brand HUGO! and bought HUGO In-Motion Limited Edition GREEN! her favourite colour too…heheheh the smell damn nice..i like it….and love it…hope SHE can smell me hahahaha….

now im alone….nvr contact THAT GERL NIMORE…haiz…i know…we only friend…try to friend wif her but she like ignoring me…haiz…what a life…nvrmind..i still hav myself to entertain alone…

i dont know the relationship within HER and ASHRAF….haiz…really so sad….think back im on the FAULT side…yah i know she TREATS me alot…care about me…haiz…she helps me alot too….haiz…i know alot of time i criticised on her family…but who am i to said all this thing…..haiz….im really sad and regret what i hav done…i really regret…i hope we can get back together again…but i cannot ask too much…bcoz i know she wont accept me back again…haiz…what my main point is to studies….i want my future to be bright! and i want my future wife to be happy wif me….haiz……i really want her back…YUHAFEZA PLS COMEBACK TO MY LIFE…PLS….I NEED U…